TMI
by Emertheawesome
Summary: Why Ginny never asks Hermione what is wrong. Some things are just better left unknown.


**T. M. I**

**A/N:** A little plot bunny. Please enjoy. I'm completely surprised at how popular Bad Kitty! was. Hopefully this will be even half as decent.

Hermione and Ginny sat in the stands at Hogwarts. Both were visiting for various reasons: Ginny to gather some herbs from the greenhouse (since Neville was just that nice of a greens keeper) and Hermione to visit her new fiancé. Both had to wait though, and that was why they were resting in the stands, huddled together, wrapping their cloaks as tightly as possible around their small frames.

Ginny was thinking desperately of her warm kitchen, and even warmer husband who would be missing her if she didn't get home soon. And Harry would be ever so disappointed if she wasn't there when he got home. Ginny shuddered in pleasure as she imagined how her husband would punish her for being late.

The thoughts quickly ceased though as Hermione let loose a wistful sigh. Ginny eyed her warily, worrying her lip as she decided whether she _really _wanted to know or not. She didn't, but....

Blast it. "What's wrong, Hermione?"

Hermione's eyes were glassy as she stared off into the distance, which was, in all reality, the other side of the stands across the quidditch field.

"Oh, nothing...." she replied.

Ginny refrained from rolling her eyes.

"Are you sure? You act like something is wrong."

The red head waited patiently as Hermione deliberated over how to respond. Even though Ginny knew Hermione would tell, the other girl always liked to pretend she was reluctant to talk. Ginny braced herself for the worst.

"Well," Hermione finally spoke, "Severus has just been so distant lately...."

Ginny focused her eyes on some students who had come onto the field. They appeared to be talking animatedly amongst themselves, oblivious to the crowd of two in the stands.

"I'm sure he's just busy. It's the end of the term, right?"

"Right...." murmured Hermione, obviously discontent with Ginny's response.

Ginny sighed again.

"Okay, how exactly is he distant?"

"Well," started Hermione, eyes brightening . Ginny suddenly new she was in for a long haul explanation. "See, he doesn't come into the room until late, and when I ask he just snaps. The other night he didn't come home _at all. _Can you imagine if Harry did that, Ginny?"

Well, no she couldn't, Ginny supposed.

She said as much, and Hermione nodded.

"Right, and it makes me think, that, I don't know. Maybe he's _tired _of me. I know I'm not that interesting. I'm always reading and I concentrate on my work too much and, well, he's a man, so I'm sure he probably wants a woman who is more sensual and less....bookish."

"I thought that's what he liked about you. Your... bookishness."

Hermione nodded, and her eyes were on the students now. They had broken out a bottle of firewhisky and Hermione looked slightly envious.

"Well, that is what he said," she continued, "but, well, he's a man, and you know...."

Ginny turned to look at her. "What?"

Hermione blushed. "Well, I've been researching... um, erotica books lately. Of the magical kind. That way I can pleasure him better. Because Severus just seems so _bored _lately I wanted to try to spice things up."

Ginny's face went studiously blank, but inside her chest a growing horror mounted. As hard as it was to accept Hermione Granger getting married to their infamous potions professor, hearing her talk about their... _sex life _completely crossed the line. Ginny regretted ever asking Hermione what was wrong.

Hermione blathered on though, oblivious to her friend's ghastly expression. "And, well, I have needs too. Yet since he's never there, well.... It's difficult. I'm kind of missing it actually. I'm getting to the point of just dragging him home and forcing myself on him, but where would be the fun in that, you know?"

Ginny was going to pass out. In fact, she was going to have Harry obliviate her when she got home later that night. Any thought of Snape and Hermione together....._Oh Merlin_. Ginny shuddered.

Ginny tried to block her ears, but Hermione's words were, unfortunately, all too clear. "Yet there is no one else who can really satisfy me. I mean, Severus is wondrous in bed. You know how we used to make fun of how long his fingers were? Well I regret it, because his fingers are _marvelous." _

Ginny was about to flat out tell Hermione to shut up when a figure appeared at the edge of the quidditch field--a cloaked figure, with black, billowing robes.

Both girls watched him stride to the group of students. Though they couldn't hear exactly what was being said, they knew snide insults were being tossed and house points deducted.

Hermione sighed wistfully again. "Isn't he amazing?"

Ginny's face turned a shade whiter.

After the students had scurried away Snape looked up in the stands, catching sight of the two women lounging. He disappeared for a few minutes then reappeared near the entrance of the stands, and began to walk towards them.

Ginny felt her insides curl in terror. There was no possible way she could look him face to face after what she had just been informed of. Luckily, there was no need. When he approached he just nodded curtly in her direction.

"Weasly."

"Professor Snape," she muttered, still unable to defer to him as anything but a teacher, "How are you?"

"I am fine. You?"

"Um...fine."

He turned to look down at Hermione. "Ready?"

Hermione nodded. She stood up and waved to Ginny. "I'll talk to you more later, alright?"

Ginny mumbled something in response, though it was completely unintelligible.

Snape and Hermione walked down to the stand's exit, arms linked. Before they left Ginny could hear Snape whisper, "We'll talk more in the bedroom, love." Then Hermione giggled.

A few minutes later, Ginny stared out into the distance, pondering the philosophies of life, and whether her dutiful husband would think of siphoning her memories out of her head and destroying them.

A few days later, there was a small gathering in the Potter kitchen. Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione circled the table as dinner roasted in the oven. Snape was invited, but he rejected the invitation on the grounds that there was only so many Gryffindor heroes he could put up with at one time. And he couldn't take house points way from them, which effectively stopped any fear they once had for him.

As the conversation stalled Hermione perked up.

"Oh, Ginny, you know what I was telling you about the other night?"

Ginny's face immediately paled. "...yeah?"

"Well, there is nothing to worry about. He was just doing extra research for me, so then we have more time on our honeymoon!"

Hermione laughed, oblivious to the way Harry and Ron also cast horrified looks at her.

It was then and there that they all decided to never ask Hermione about her personal life ever again. Because there are some things better left unknown.


End file.
